Archive for February, 2010

As If I Only Had Today

Posted on February 23, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

One day, a day that changed my life, happened.

Yes, the greatest thing happened to me on this day.
It was the day I realised I don’t hold tomorrow.

The day I realised those I love will be lost.
And those I lost, I may have actually loved.

It was a day that I looked ahead of me;
In front of me,
And only saw now.

This day I stood still and felt the earth move.

On this day, my plans for tomorrow turned into goals for today.

The day I realised it’s all or nothing.
Half hearted just doesn’t cut it.

It was a day I put down the baggage,
And walked away with nothing.
Happy.

On this day I looked and really saw.

It was a day I stopped caring so much about me in others eyes,
And started to care about me in my own!

It was on this day I sat down and realised it all happens for a reason or a season.
Simple.

This day, I knew that worrying is a pointless act.
It may or may not happen.
Either way, worrying does nothing for it.

Yes, on this day I realised I don’t hold tomorrow,
So let me do well with embracing today.

©

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My Smile = My Strength

Posted on February 18, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

In the bad, if I can still smile,
I know I am strong.

In the confusing,
When all I can do is laugh,
I know I have power.

When I smile in the uncertain,
Know that I am not crazy.
It’s just my strength in demonstration.

When the world says I smile too much,
I laugh.
I smile.
Perhaps the world is frightened by my vigour.

As the world around starts to crumble – My world,
It’s my smile that makes me stand firm.

When they say “you can’t surely be happy all the time?”
No, not all the time,
But my smile pulls me through.

Please, never take my kind heart,
Pleasant words or my smile for weakness.

Like still waters that run deep,
And calm volcanoes that rumble and erupt,
My smile hides many things.

But one thing my smile will never hide is my strength.

©

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The Greatest Poem

Posted on February 13, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Happy Valentines! x

I put pen to paper but words escape me.
My thoughts and emotions battle for priority.
My mind drifts as scenes play; I laugh, cry and frown as they do. 
Yet my words refuse to impress upon the paper that lies beneath me.

I’m in awe of you. You should know.
Your words of wisdom have wise men in tantrums.
Your condition of unconditional love is what I know,
In all its unconditional ways.

I have writers’ block of the sweetest kind.
You’re here in my mind;
Here in my heart.
So why can’t I translate this?

I value you. You should know.
My love – you hold its power.
Your soft-spoken tones show their harsh meanings.
You speak the truth and deliver like a dream.
You deserve that throne;
You deserve that pedestal that I put you on.

I put pen to paper but words escape me.

I guess, because it has already been written…

You are the greatest poem!!!

©

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At Home In My Head

Posted on February 8, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

At home in my head;
This is where I live.

When the world hurts my core,
This is where I come.

From the harshness of reality,
Here is where I find peace.

From the rude awakening of those around me,
Here is where I hide.

When my heart can no longer take the evils or fight the giants,
I curl up in a ball here.

Right here is where I resort. 

When I can’t run, walk or crawl, 
This is where I am.

Don’t look for me.
Don’t ask of me.
Don’t come to me.
I will not let you in.

When I’m ready;
Strong enough to come outside,
To face you,
To stand up strong,
I’ll slowly show my head.

I’ll be Ok.
I’ll be fine.
I’ll smile again – I always do!

But please, just for now,
Let me go home.

©

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A Letter to P.A.

Posted on February 6, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Dear P,

I’ve wanted to write this letter for so long with every intention of giving it to you one day.

But I never did as my heart was filled with all sorts of fears;
Known and unknown.

So I commit myself to writing this to you here in hope one day you may stumble upon it.

You were a great guy.
A man with heart.
A strong and determined character that I admired.

You might laugh because your situation at the time was, somewhat, precarious, but you were inspirational.
I loved talking to you.
Hearing you laugh.
Hearing all the positive things you had to say about life.
About Me.

We clicked like we had known we would for ever.
We told stories of our lives, our hearts and battles and scars.

Yes, there were times when you became overwhelmed by it all. By your life. I could see that,
But in some ways, I turned a blind eye hoping and praying my love was enough.
And at times it was.

I wanted more of you. More from you,
But you were not in such a place to give.
And for this I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for looking but not seeing.
I’m sorry for listening but not hearing.
I’m sorry for wanting and not needing.
I’m sorry for the space I gave you and the times I gave you none.

I didn’t understand the fight, I just saw the fighter.

When I left, I put you to the back of my mind.
The realisation that this was bigger than me became too real.
It was bigger than my hopes or my dreams.

Though, you never left the forefront of my heart.
It is all still so real.
God brought us together;
We tore us apart.

I wanted what I wanted without much thought.

Now you are not totally blameless in all that took place,
So I put my hands up for what I did.
I too was responsible for our fall.

So now I wish you well.

I will always remember you the way you were. I fell in love with a dream.
x

©

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The Scariest Word in the World

Posted on February 2, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

I’m scared of the word Yes – sometimes, I am.

Because Yes means, falling and hoping someone else will catch you.

Yes means letting them know you’re breakable.

Yes means giving them some power over your heart.

Yes means telling them what you really feel.

Yes means letting them see the REAL you.

Yes means showing them your crazy side.

Yes means allowing them to make it all better.

Yes means saying No to control!

Yes means crying whilst they hold you.

Ultimately, Yes means letting them love you. 

Yes!

Yes means I’m not scared of Yes anymore.

©

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