At Home In My Head

Posted on February 8, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

At home in my head;
This is where I live.

When the world hurts my core,
This is where I come.

From the harshness of reality,
Here is where I find peace.

From the rude awakening of those around me,
Here is where I hide.

When my heart can no longer take the evils or fight the giants,
I curl up in a ball here.

Right here is where I resort. 

When I can’t run, walk or crawl, 
This is where I am.

Don’t look for me.
Don’t ask of me.
Don’t come to me.
I will not let you in.

When I’m ready;
Strong enough to come outside,
To face you,
To stand up strong,
I’ll slowly show my head.

I’ll be Ok.
I’ll be fine.
I’ll smile again – I always do!

But please, just for now,
Let me go home.

©

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If I Had A Penny

Posted on January 16, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

If I had a penny for every time he broke your heart,
I would buy you a new heart.

For every ill spoken word he ever said against you,
I would buy you new and wonderful memories.

For every time you prayed to God for the pain to stop,
I would buy you a church.

For every time you tried to cover those bruises,
I would buy you new skin.

For each time you knew this wouldn’t be the last time,
I would buy you the strength to walk away.

For every time you cried for help,
I would buy you a happy thought to replace.

For every time you convinced yourself it was love,
I would buy you reality.

For every advice you got but turned away from,
I would buy you a new perspective.

If I had a penny for everything you’re going through,
I cry, as I know, it still wouldn’t be enough.

©

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Invisible Me

Posted on January 5, 2010. Filed under: Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , , |

Sometimes I really do wonder: Am I alone in this?
Here. Where whatever makes sense to me makes no sense to anyone else.
I don’t want to dance because you tell me to. Otherwise, I’ll just be you.

You’re disapproving of me.  When all I’m doing is just being me. And yes, I see the looks of those you’ve run to; to talk to about me. But it’s OK.

You know, I’ve always been that person people have wanted to mould. Do I give you that impression? Do I look like I need that help?

People have tried. I repeat tried.
Thinking that – and here’s the funny part – that I haven’t a clue what they’re trying to do. Please never forget – I see you. I see what you do. I just keep it to myself.

I think I have that sense. The ability to see those like you who try to rule. You don’t have to understand me; you don’t have to ‘get’ me; I am not asking for your approval.
Let me be me. If you can’t do that, then please, go be you.

My mind offers me a place to be free. A place where you can’t see.  An escape for me.
Am I coming across weird? Am I confusing you? I apologise for the inconvenience this may be causing you.

I have no real need to please you as I was never put here to do that. No. I know this frustrates you as you try to cage me. You need that control. That peace of mind.

Don’t be mad when one day you wake up and realise you never really knew me, because I still don’t.

I choose not to cling to your negativity. And I know. I know you think you mean well.

But I’ll tell you this: I am free to be me; whoever that may be.

And if you don’t get that, then you just don’t see me.

©

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