Do a Portsmouth (Poetry In Motion)

Posted on April 12, 2010. Filed under: Articles | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Sunday 11th April 2010  Tottenham 0 – 2 Portsmouth

There’s a lot that we can learn from Portsmouth Football club 

I love football, probably just as much as the next person, but perhaps a little less than most.

Recently though, one particular team has caught my eye. Portsmouth Football club isn’t a club that I’ve ever really paid much attention to, but now I find that I am somehow drawn to them.

Why? Because for me, Portsmouth represent LIFE! And that beyond football.

I came to know of them well when I heard about their financial woes all over the news. Now this isn’t big news in terms of companies going bust and financial issues hitting most businesses. Not to mention the money problems faced by bigger clubs in the past such as Manchester City, Arsenal and Manchester United.

But this story seems a little more… I don’t know, sad.

I recently heard of a story of one of the Portsmouth players having to return to his parents’ home.

If you haven’t heard, there have been reports of the players not being paid for months (Portsmouth reportedly owe £65million), the club going into administration and having points deducted from their campaign as a result of this.

Now to the “working” world, this sort of action would be faced with the reaction of strikes. But watching Portsmouth play against premier league hitter, Tottenham was an example in loyalty if there ever was one.

There was something extremely poetic and gallant in the way Portsmouth played. With such determination and devotion – they had a fighters spirit about them. They were soldiers on that pitch!

I was greatly touched by it all, especially in light on their current circumstances.

And In spite of their monetary woes, administration matters and relegation, Portsmouth played like REAL champions.

And isn’t that what we need from real players?

Champions.

In life.

Whether on or off the pitch.

They won Sunday’s match, beating Tottenham 2 – 0. A victory well deserved in my opinion.

Regardless of the team you actually support, you couldn’t help but stand in salute of their amazing efforts.

Now, their problems are still very much present, but you never would have guessed the way they played.

So inspiring!

I often write about about it, but in adversity, when the world says “no way” or “you can’t possibly make a comeback” or “forget it, there’s no hope”, just “Do a Portsmouth” and show them that nothing can stop you when you just keep your eyes on the ball.

That’s one football lesson I definitely want my son to learn!

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Your Box

Posted on April 1, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I comply not with these rules that are set before me and that drives you mad!

Your understanding of me and mine is limited;
So your judgement holds no real merit!

Your ignorance to the beauty of freedom blinds your vision
And inevitably suffocates you.

You spit out rules and lines and “must-dos” and “No’s”
Though it is you who alone is bound by this system; this regime.

“The greats”, you say, “did it this way.”
I say, “Before them, there were none!”
And after me, there will be many.

Many different, weird and wonderful songs to sing!

Yes!

Many new and wonderful ways to tell a story, not just by way of your Book of Rules!!!

I thrive off the restricted energy those like you spit,
I refuse to communicate with dead spirits.

I feel not the comments and ills that flow through your soul.
Wanting, wishing only to remove those dark glasses that prevent you from seeing;
Really seeing!

Uniqueness isn’t studied,
Yet delivering it is class.

Because, of all the walls, blockades, bricks and stones put up against freedom to be,
Ignorance is the one that slowly kills the soul of those who harbour it!

So plump up those pillows and get comfortable,
Because it looks like you’ll be in your box for a while!

Dedicated to YOU!! Thanks for the advice WF

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Life Imitating Art

Posted on March 3, 2010. Filed under: Poetry, Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

 – “Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”  Pablo Picasso –

Everyday, hundreds came to see the artist at work.

He was phenomenal to watch. He would put his heart and soul into every piece. People stood in awe of his deeply meaningful work. He was extremely focused whilst painting and would not be distracted by the noises around him. The people passing by, the sounds of car horns and traffic, the sounds of children playing in the nearby park.

No, nothing would distract him.

This place was his sanctuary. Yes, it was a pavement in one of the busiest streets in the city, but to the artist, it was peace.

He never answered any questions. Never spoke, never looked up or around.

His paintings were truly personal. And because he never spoke, nobody knew what his works were about. What were his paintings trying to say? What were they about?

Yet to everyone who came across his work, each was touched in a very different way. Some were made happier for seeing a piece of his art. Some of his works made people think about their lives. Some people felt his work had changed their lives, making them feel love again or giving them the ability to dream. His work touched many – directly and indirectly.

This one day in the city was like any other day.

He arrived at his spot on the street. Sat down and began to paint.

Suddenly, he stopped.

Those around him. Stood still. They looked a little concerned for the artist as he seemed to show no sign of movement. One person called out to him, ‘are you ok?’ Another asked, ‘why have you stopped?’

He slowly turned to them, stood up and put down his tools.

They stood perfectly still. Waiting to hear from him, finally.

Looking around at each of them, he said, ‘I’ve stopped because I’m done.’

He picked up his things and walked away.

Turning to each other, they looked confused.

They then began to walk away. Each of them walking into their own lives.

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My Smile = My Strength

Posted on February 18, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

In the bad, if I can still smile,
I know I am strong.

In the confusing,
When all I can do is laugh,
I know I have power.

When I smile in the uncertain,
Know that I am not crazy.
It’s just my strength in demonstration.

When the world says I smile too much,
I laugh.
I smile.
Perhaps the world is frightened by my vigour.

As the world around starts to crumble – My world,
It’s my smile that makes me stand firm.

When they say “you can’t surely be happy all the time?”
No, not all the time,
But my smile pulls me through.

Please, never take my kind heart,
Pleasant words or my smile for weakness.

Like still waters that run deep,
And calm volcanoes that rumble and erupt,
My smile hides many things.

But one thing my smile will never hide is my strength.

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At Home In My Head

Posted on February 8, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

At home in my head;
This is where I live.

When the world hurts my core,
This is where I come.

From the harshness of reality,
Here is where I find peace.

From the rude awakening of those around me,
Here is where I hide.

When my heart can no longer take the evils or fight the giants,
I curl up in a ball here.

Right here is where I resort. 

When I can’t run, walk or crawl, 
This is where I am.

Don’t look for me.
Don’t ask of me.
Don’t come to me.
I will not let you in.

When I’m ready;
Strong enough to come outside,
To face you,
To stand up strong,
I’ll slowly show my head.

I’ll be Ok.
I’ll be fine.
I’ll smile again – I always do!

But please, just for now,
Let me go home.

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A Letter to P.A.

Posted on February 6, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Dear P,

I’ve wanted to write this letter for so long with every intention of giving it to you one day.

But I never did as my heart was filled with all sorts of fears;
Known and unknown.

So I commit myself to writing this to you here in hope one day you may stumble upon it.

You were a great guy.
A man with heart.
A strong and determined character that I admired.

You might laugh because your situation at the time was, somewhat, precarious, but you were inspirational.
I loved talking to you.
Hearing you laugh.
Hearing all the positive things you had to say about life.
About Me.

We clicked like we had known we would for ever.
We told stories of our lives, our hearts and battles and scars.

Yes, there were times when you became overwhelmed by it all. By your life. I could see that,
But in some ways, I turned a blind eye hoping and praying my love was enough.
And at times it was.

I wanted more of you. More from you,
But you were not in such a place to give.
And for this I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for looking but not seeing.
I’m sorry for listening but not hearing.
I’m sorry for wanting and not needing.
I’m sorry for the space I gave you and the times I gave you none.

I didn’t understand the fight, I just saw the fighter.

When I left, I put you to the back of my mind.
The realisation that this was bigger than me became too real.
It was bigger than my hopes or my dreams.

Though, you never left the forefront of my heart.
It is all still so real.
God brought us together;
We tore us apart.

I wanted what I wanted without much thought.

Now you are not totally blameless in all that took place,
So I put my hands up for what I did.
I too was responsible for our fall.

So now I wish you well.

I will always remember you the way you were. I fell in love with a dream.
x

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The Scariest Word in the World

Posted on February 2, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

I’m scared of the word Yes – sometimes, I am.

Because Yes means, falling and hoping someone else will catch you.

Yes means letting them know you’re breakable.

Yes means giving them some power over your heart.

Yes means telling them what you really feel.

Yes means letting them see the REAL you.

Yes means showing them your crazy side.

Yes means allowing them to make it all better.

Yes means saying No to control!

Yes means crying whilst they hold you.

Ultimately, Yes means letting them love you. 

Yes!

Yes means I’m not scared of Yes anymore.

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The Heart of War

Posted on January 29, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

I’m feeling like you like me this way;
Laid out with no fight,
Wondering where to go.

I get the impression that you don’t want me to stand,
To raise my head and know that I can.

I’m sensing that the you I know isn’t you at all,
You feel superior when I’m feeling inferior.

I have a hunch that my down and out mood pleases you some,
Your words say otherwise but your eyes tell me so.

I feel your foot on the hand I’m trying to lift,
Your sole is pressing into me and my hand goes numb.

I feel your soulless soul burst with delight,
As I start to shake my head in defeat.

I say to you:
Don’t be fooled my stance as I lay down.
With my face in the dirt,
I’m not beaten.

I look up at you and then I see,
You staring back at you.
And me staring back at me.

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It’s Child’s Play

Posted on January 29, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

 

As grown as I am,
Sometimes I don’t want to be.

I love to be me.
I like being me.
I just want to be the child that I used to be.

Just for a day.

I wish I could play all day,
And only stop when night blankets me.

I wish I could laugh at anything, anywhere;
Drawing smiles, not stares.

I want to be free to act silly;
And silly is all it would be.

I would ask questions about the sky, universe, monsters and sea creatures,
And dream I explored these as such.

I would ask about love,
And hope to find it.

I’d say all I want to say with the freedom to do so,
“I love you”
“I hate you”
“I’m not your friend”
Oh, how free I would be.

I’d do something for the fun of it,
Not concerned with financial gain.
Not concerned with personal ruin.

Just for a day.

Esteem would be high,
Self consciousness, put to rest.

I’d see right through the false,
And steer towards the beautiful soul in others.
Knowing well those who mean me harm,
Knowing even better those who have nothing but love.

Adventure would be my middle name;
Fear would have no place here.

Returning home to the unconditional love,
Re-fuelling my mind, body and my spirit.
Ready to explore another time.

Just for a day.

Oh, just for a day.

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Things I’ve Learnt Before 30

Posted on January 27, 2010. Filed under: Articles | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Well, it’s official, I am about to turn 30 soon!

I’d like to say ‘gosh, it’s just crept up on me’ but honestly, it hasn’t. I’ve been ‘counting down’ since I was 26! I’ve sat down and dissected the approaching 3.0 with friends and done the whole “I’m not ready”, “at least you don’t look it” and
“Only 4 years to go”
“Only 3 years to go”
“Only 2…” well, you get the picture.

My birthdays actually in March but have been mentioning it to people for a good few months now. See I’m the sort of person who likes to get an early jump on my birthday. Honestly, I’m worse than my 7 year old son. I literally jump up and down on the day with excitement.

Hey, I’m exceptionnelle!
And no, that’s not a fancy word for crazy!!!
Just another way of saying I’m unique.
That is a little crazy mind…
But anyhoo, back to me turning 30.

So for a while now I’ve been speaking to friends and family about what they think they can or will say they’ve learnt before turning 30.

Now I don’t mean what you’ve achieved before you turn 30. That’s something entirely different. And is likely to have many in tears. The purpose of this is not to make you or I cry!!!

No.

It’s just for fun, and I stress fun because even if you feel you haven’t learnt a thing in your 29 years and 11months, be positive, you have a whole month to catch up. But honestly, and this isn’t to rain on your parade, if you haven’t learnt anything about yourself, society, relationships etc in 29 years and 11months, perhaps you should just, um…

Here you go, here’s a Kleenex!!

So what I’d really like to do is show you a list I compiled a few months ago after a conversation I had with my family about turning 30.

This list is what I feel I’ve learnt in my 29 years and 10 months:

Money:

  1. It’s not a savings account if you take out more than you put in on a daily basis.
  2. Pay day is like watching snow fall. You may be excited at the prospect of snow arriving, but you know full well that the majority of the time as soon as it hits the ground, it disappears.
  3. Credit is like a roller coaster ride – fun at first, but sooner or later you’ll be so sick that you want to get off.
  4. It is possible to spread one item you’re paying for over 3 or 4 debit (DEBIT) cards. Just don’t expect a smile from the sales assistant.
  5. Haggling is the same as flirting. I’m so bad at haggling, but can flirt my way out of paying full price for that item.

 Work:

  1. You finish work at 5pm, so you can’t understand why your boss is hissing at you as you stand to put your coat on at 4.58pm. Honestly, you’ve still got 2 more minutes! Tut tut tut!
  2. It’s amazing just how much weight you actually put on at work. Don’t know why, you never have lunch and just eat cakes and biscuits and crisps and chocolates and…
  3. You can’t believe you’ve been made to work when it’s snowing outside. I mean who’s going to use my makeshift snow-sledge now. It’ll just sit there…
  4. Day dreaming in meetings is always a big no-no. It’s all in the eyes. Not to mention the way you just jumped when a question was directed to you. “Sorry, can you repeat the question please?” “Yes how do you spell your surname? I’m writing your termination letter!”
  5. For some reason, you go into so much depth about the day’s weather at work. You suddenly become the world’s greatest weather man/woman. “I know this weather is terrible. It was spitting earlier, but by afternoon we’re expecting light rain. Looks like we will have some heavy showers come evening, with a torrential down-pour come tomorrow morning…”

Relationships

  1. What’s a r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p?
  2. Enough with the dating rules. Don’t call after 3 days, distance yourself for 2 weeks, don’t kiss on date number 6… I mean… oh wait, truth just hit home. Not a good feeling!
  3. Never fight over a man! He’s made his choice so let him go in peace. No, now put that crowbar down!!!
  4. Don’t get so carried away with the idea of wedding bells ladies, remember, it’s a day, less than 24hours. Really think about it – is this the person you want to spend your life with? If so, let’s do it. If not, it’s probably a good idea to tell him. (Oh, look at me getting all serious. Scared myself just then!)
  5. Getting over someone else by dating another works only temporarily. You still need to deal with your ‘stuff’ from the previous relationship before you can properly move on. Did someone order a psycho new partner? Anyone?

Friendships

  1. Your circle of friends gets smaller as you get older and much more precious! Sorry nothing funny here, just having a real ‘hug’ moment.
  2. It is okay to have a best friend at 29. Actually it’s the best having a best friend at 29. As life get’s crazier, so do the both of you!!!
  3. Your guy can’t understand how it’s possible for you to sit on the phone talking to your friend for 2 hours even though you just saw her half an hour ago.
  4. The greatest friends of all love you just the way you are. Don’t imitate. Encourage you and tell you how it really is. Now if I can just do that for them, then I’m set!! I’m kidding, of course; I am THE greatest friend! (Note to self: modesty is a wonderful trait in building friendships!)
  5. You can laugh about any and everything with the right friend by your side. It’s the most beautiful way of getting through tough times. “Remember, ahaha, remember that time I broke my leg…hahahah…”

Family

  1. Everything to do with family is personal and classified. It’s very important to choose who you give information to about your family. Period.  Oh sorry to go all Mission: Impossible.

And lastly, Me:

  1. I’m much stronger than I thought
  2. My wonderful son thinks I’m cool!
  3. I don’t need every cosmetic advertised. Yes, I know it leaves your skin flawlessly flawless, when the other just leaves it flawless, but NO!
  4. I DO need my 8 hours as I get older!! Seriously!
  5. I need to give myself a break every now and again.

Well, I think that’s pretty much it. I’ve obviously learnt a lot more (she say’s hoping) but it’s a blog site, not my final dissertation so I think I’ll end it there and start looking forward to turning 30!

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