Life Imitating Art

Posted on March 3, 2010. Filed under: Poetry, Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

 – “Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”  Pablo Picasso –

Everyday, hundreds came to see the artist at work.

He was phenomenal to watch. He would put his heart and soul into every piece. People stood in awe of his deeply meaningful work. He was extremely focused whilst painting and would not be distracted by the noises around him. The people passing by, the sounds of car horns and traffic, the sounds of children playing in the nearby park.

No, nothing would distract him.

This place was his sanctuary. Yes, it was a pavement in one of the busiest streets in the city, but to the artist, it was peace.

He never answered any questions. Never spoke, never looked up or around.

His paintings were truly personal. And because he never spoke, nobody knew what his works were about. What were his paintings trying to say? What were they about?

Yet to everyone who came across his work, each was touched in a very different way. Some were made happier for seeing a piece of his art. Some of his works made people think about their lives. Some people felt his work had changed their lives, making them feel love again or giving them the ability to dream. His work touched many – directly and indirectly.

This one day in the city was like any other day.

He arrived at his spot on the street. Sat down and began to paint.

Suddenly, he stopped.

Those around him. Stood still. They looked a little concerned for the artist as he seemed to show no sign of movement. One person called out to him, ‘are you ok?’ Another asked, ‘why have you stopped?’

He slowly turned to them, stood up and put down his tools.

They stood perfectly still. Waiting to hear from him, finally.

Looking around at each of them, he said, ‘I’ve stopped because I’m done.’

He picked up his things and walked away.

Turning to each other, they looked confused.

They then began to walk away. Each of them walking into their own lives.

© 

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My Smile = My Strength

Posted on February 18, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

In the bad, if I can still smile,
I know I am strong.

In the confusing,
When all I can do is laugh,
I know I have power.

When I smile in the uncertain,
Know that I am not crazy.
It’s just my strength in demonstration.

When the world says I smile too much,
I laugh.
I smile.
Perhaps the world is frightened by my vigour.

As the world around starts to crumble – My world,
It’s my smile that makes me stand firm.

When they say “you can’t surely be happy all the time?”
No, not all the time,
But my smile pulls me through.

Please, never take my kind heart,
Pleasant words or my smile for weakness.

Like still waters that run deep,
And calm volcanoes that rumble and erupt,
My smile hides many things.

But one thing my smile will never hide is my strength.

©

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At Home In My Head

Posted on February 8, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

At home in my head;
This is where I live.

When the world hurts my core,
This is where I come.

From the harshness of reality,
Here is where I find peace.

From the rude awakening of those around me,
Here is where I hide.

When my heart can no longer take the evils or fight the giants,
I curl up in a ball here.

Right here is where I resort. 

When I can’t run, walk or crawl, 
This is where I am.

Don’t look for me.
Don’t ask of me.
Don’t come to me.
I will not let you in.

When I’m ready;
Strong enough to come outside,
To face you,
To stand up strong,
I’ll slowly show my head.

I’ll be Ok.
I’ll be fine.
I’ll smile again – I always do!

But please, just for now,
Let me go home.

©

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It’s Child’s Play

Posted on January 29, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

 

As grown as I am,
Sometimes I don’t want to be.

I love to be me.
I like being me.
I just want to be the child that I used to be.

Just for a day.

I wish I could play all day,
And only stop when night blankets me.

I wish I could laugh at anything, anywhere;
Drawing smiles, not stares.

I want to be free to act silly;
And silly is all it would be.

I would ask questions about the sky, universe, monsters and sea creatures,
And dream I explored these as such.

I would ask about love,
And hope to find it.

I’d say all I want to say with the freedom to do so,
“I love you”
“I hate you”
“I’m not your friend”
Oh, how free I would be.

I’d do something for the fun of it,
Not concerned with financial gain.
Not concerned with personal ruin.

Just for a day.

Esteem would be high,
Self consciousness, put to rest.

I’d see right through the false,
And steer towards the beautiful soul in others.
Knowing well those who mean me harm,
Knowing even better those who have nothing but love.

Adventure would be my middle name;
Fear would have no place here.

Returning home to the unconditional love,
Re-fuelling my mind, body and my spirit.
Ready to explore another time.

Just for a day.

Oh, just for a day.

©

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Things I’ve Learnt Before 30

Posted on January 27, 2010. Filed under: Articles | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

Well, it’s official, I am about to turn 30 soon!

I’d like to say ‘gosh, it’s just crept up on me’ but honestly, it hasn’t. I’ve been ‘counting down’ since I was 26! I’ve sat down and dissected the approaching 3.0 with friends and done the whole “I’m not ready”, “at least you don’t look it” and
“Only 4 years to go”
“Only 3 years to go”
“Only 2…” well, you get the picture.

My birthdays actually in March but have been mentioning it to people for a good few months now. See I’m the sort of person who likes to get an early jump on my birthday. Honestly, I’m worse than my 7 year old son. I literally jump up and down on the day with excitement.

Hey, I’m exceptionnelle!
And no, that’s not a fancy word for crazy!!!
Just another way of saying I’m unique.
That is a little crazy mind…
But anyhoo, back to me turning 30.

So for a while now I’ve been speaking to friends and family about what they think they can or will say they’ve learnt before turning 30.

Now I don’t mean what you’ve achieved before you turn 30. That’s something entirely different. And is likely to have many in tears. The purpose of this is not to make you or I cry!!!

No.

It’s just for fun, and I stress fun because even if you feel you haven’t learnt a thing in your 29 years and 11months, be positive, you have a whole month to catch up. But honestly, and this isn’t to rain on your parade, if you haven’t learnt anything about yourself, society, relationships etc in 29 years and 11months, perhaps you should just, um…

Here you go, here’s a Kleenex!!

So what I’d really like to do is show you a list I compiled a few months ago after a conversation I had with my family about turning 30.

This list is what I feel I’ve learnt in my 29 years and 10 months:

Money:

  1. It’s not a savings account if you take out more than you put in on a daily basis.
  2. Pay day is like watching snow fall. You may be excited at the prospect of snow arriving, but you know full well that the majority of the time as soon as it hits the ground, it disappears.
  3. Credit is like a roller coaster ride – fun at first, but sooner or later you’ll be so sick that you want to get off.
  4. It is possible to spread one item you’re paying for over 3 or 4 debit (DEBIT) cards. Just don’t expect a smile from the sales assistant.
  5. Haggling is the same as flirting. I’m so bad at haggling, but can flirt my way out of paying full price for that item.

 Work:

  1. You finish work at 5pm, so you can’t understand why your boss is hissing at you as you stand to put your coat on at 4.58pm. Honestly, you’ve still got 2 more minutes! Tut tut tut!
  2. It’s amazing just how much weight you actually put on at work. Don’t know why, you never have lunch and just eat cakes and biscuits and crisps and chocolates and…
  3. You can’t believe you’ve been made to work when it’s snowing outside. I mean who’s going to use my makeshift snow-sledge now. It’ll just sit there…
  4. Day dreaming in meetings is always a big no-no. It’s all in the eyes. Not to mention the way you just jumped when a question was directed to you. “Sorry, can you repeat the question please?” “Yes how do you spell your surname? I’m writing your termination letter!”
  5. For some reason, you go into so much depth about the day’s weather at work. You suddenly become the world’s greatest weather man/woman. “I know this weather is terrible. It was spitting earlier, but by afternoon we’re expecting light rain. Looks like we will have some heavy showers come evening, with a torrential down-pour come tomorrow morning…”

Relationships

  1. What’s a r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p?
  2. Enough with the dating rules. Don’t call after 3 days, distance yourself for 2 weeks, don’t kiss on date number 6… I mean… oh wait, truth just hit home. Not a good feeling!
  3. Never fight over a man! He’s made his choice so let him go in peace. No, now put that crowbar down!!!
  4. Don’t get so carried away with the idea of wedding bells ladies, remember, it’s a day, less than 24hours. Really think about it – is this the person you want to spend your life with? If so, let’s do it. If not, it’s probably a good idea to tell him. (Oh, look at me getting all serious. Scared myself just then!)
  5. Getting over someone else by dating another works only temporarily. You still need to deal with your ‘stuff’ from the previous relationship before you can properly move on. Did someone order a psycho new partner? Anyone?

Friendships

  1. Your circle of friends gets smaller as you get older and much more precious! Sorry nothing funny here, just having a real ‘hug’ moment.
  2. It is okay to have a best friend at 29. Actually it’s the best having a best friend at 29. As life get’s crazier, so do the both of you!!!
  3. Your guy can’t understand how it’s possible for you to sit on the phone talking to your friend for 2 hours even though you just saw her half an hour ago.
  4. The greatest friends of all love you just the way you are. Don’t imitate. Encourage you and tell you how it really is. Now if I can just do that for them, then I’m set!! I’m kidding, of course; I am THE greatest friend! (Note to self: modesty is a wonderful trait in building friendships!)
  5. You can laugh about any and everything with the right friend by your side. It’s the most beautiful way of getting through tough times. “Remember, ahaha, remember that time I broke my leg…hahahah…”

Family

  1. Everything to do with family is personal and classified. It’s very important to choose who you give information to about your family. Period.  Oh sorry to go all Mission: Impossible.

And lastly, Me:

  1. I’m much stronger than I thought
  2. My wonderful son thinks I’m cool!
  3. I don’t need every cosmetic advertised. Yes, I know it leaves your skin flawlessly flawless, when the other just leaves it flawless, but NO!
  4. I DO need my 8 hours as I get older!! Seriously!
  5. I need to give myself a break every now and again.

Well, I think that’s pretty much it. I’ve obviously learnt a lot more (she say’s hoping) but it’s a blog site, not my final dissertation so I think I’ll end it there and start looking forward to turning 30!

©

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A Perfect Realisation

Posted on January 23, 2010. Filed under: Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

When all around you are losing their heads, you maintain yours.
Taking pride in your grip.

With a dedication to strength and a will for survival; you’re a rock.
Nothing can move you.
Nothing penetrates.

You are refined by fire,
Sweat-less by its heat.
Unhurt by its power.

Hardened to some, yet purely withstanding to you.
You understand what needs to be done and do it you will.

You fight everyday for perfection, or near enough.
You cannot tolerate defeat. Loss is not in your vocabulary.
Your unflinching demeanour scares others,
Leaving others in awe.
And is, quite simply, astonishing.

Then you break.
I see it in you,
I know you’ve hit.

You refuse to let go.
Refuse to relinquish control.

Stop fighting, I say.
You’re working too hard.

Let things go,
You can’t own it all.

It’s Ok, It’s human and I totally understand.

Perfection is a dream, I say.
So wake up!

And then I wake up.
And then I’m free.

And then I realise what a perfect day this will be.
©

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Invisible Me

Posted on January 5, 2010. Filed under: Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , , |

Sometimes I really do wonder: Am I alone in this?
Here. Where whatever makes sense to me makes no sense to anyone else.
I don’t want to dance because you tell me to. Otherwise, I’ll just be you.

You’re disapproving of me.  When all I’m doing is just being me. And yes, I see the looks of those you’ve run to; to talk to about me. But it’s OK.

You know, I’ve always been that person people have wanted to mould. Do I give you that impression? Do I look like I need that help?

People have tried. I repeat tried.
Thinking that – and here’s the funny part – that I haven’t a clue what they’re trying to do. Please never forget – I see you. I see what you do. I just keep it to myself.

I think I have that sense. The ability to see those like you who try to rule. You don’t have to understand me; you don’t have to ‘get’ me; I am not asking for your approval.
Let me be me. If you can’t do that, then please, go be you.

My mind offers me a place to be free. A place where you can’t see.  An escape for me.
Am I coming across weird? Am I confusing you? I apologise for the inconvenience this may be causing you.

I have no real need to please you as I was never put here to do that. No. I know this frustrates you as you try to cage me. You need that control. That peace of mind.

Don’t be mad when one day you wake up and realise you never really knew me, because I still don’t.

I choose not to cling to your negativity. And I know. I know you think you mean well.

But I’ll tell you this: I am free to be me; whoever that may be.

And if you don’t get that, then you just don’t see me.

©

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